catatonia

it just takes away a lot from you knowing you were so ecstatic about something and when that day finally comes, you screw up and everything dies down.. right now i don't know how i should feel.. disappointed, should i cry? hurt, should i be angry? or just plain stupid?? i slept late last night but my worries woke me up so early.. it's finally today, but i'm completely broken.. it's been raining and i have no escape whatsoever.. i am yet stuck in this emotional bubble and i know for a fact it won't pop until i let go.. now that i finally took a chance, i get screwed over.. is this the right time to give up? is this the right time to finally suck in all the fantasies, refine it, and blow out nothing but pure reality?

all along i thought i was being a bigger person
now i just feel like a big mistake
i sent a package.. and it probably won't ever be received

doin.....duhhh
listenin.raindrops [how much sadder can i be?]
thinkin..make-ups and screw-ups